卷:卷三《阳关以西》|主角:Marco·常玉山·杜大爷家的儿媳·那个二十九岁的后生|古人:陶渊明|地点:敦煌市郊那个村·杜家院子|典:陶渊明《拟挽歌辞》“亲戚或余悲,他人亦已歌。死去何所道,托体同山阿”;又《自祭文》“匪贵前誉,孰重后歌?人生实难,死如之何”|主导感官:纸(那本红皮账翻到第七十一页,纸已经软了)|合券进度:未结一笔|金融-国学对应:Who Writes Your Page(记账那一家永远是空的;可是账有人接)↔ 自祭文
段一·现身
六月八日,下午三点四十。
常玉山打来电话。
电话通了,他先没有说话。
过了两三秒,他说:
“小马。”
马可说:
“常师傅。”
常玉山说:
“杜大爷走了。”
马可站起来了。
他问:
“什么时候?”
常玉山说:
“今天早上。”
他说:
“睡着走的。”
他停了一下。
他说:
“他儿媳早上去叫他吃饭,人已经凉了。”
马可问:
“哪天办?”
常玉山说:
“后天。”
马可说:
“我来。”
电话那头静了一下。
常玉山说:
“你不用来。”
马可说:
“我来。”
常玉山说:
“你跟他见过两回。”
马可说:
“两回。”
他说:
“去年八月那一回,他把一六年那一页翻给我看。”
常玉山在那头没有说话。
过了一会儿,他说了一句:
“那你来。”
段二·古文镜像
“亲戚或余悲,他人亦已歌。死去何所道,托体同山阿。”
“匪贵前誉,孰重后歌?人生实难,死如之何?呜呼哀哉!”
English Mirror: Kin may still grieve; others have already gone back to their singing. What is there to say about dying? The body is committed to the hillside, and becomes part of it. — I never prized praise in life; why should I care for the songs that come after? Life is truly hard. And death — what of it? Alas.
六月十日,上午八点。
那个村。
跟一年零七个月前一样。
白布,棚,唢呐,两个吹的一个打鼓的。
院子里进进出出的人很多,都在忙。
搭灶的,洗菜的,摆桌子的。
没有一个闲着的。
马可站在门口,先没有进去。
他数了一下棚里的桌子。
十二桌。
去年十一月那一次他也数过,那次是十几桌。
他记不清是几。
院子里有一样东西跟上次不一样。
上次门口那两副唢呐是站着吹的。
这次是坐着。
吹的还是那两个人,马可认得那件蓝褂子。
一年零七个月,那件褂子没换。
他忽然想到一件很小的事。
这个村一年办几场事?
红皮账上十六年,几十页。
算下来一年三四场。
一年三四场,这两个吹唢呐的,一年出来三四回。
十六年,五六十回。
杜大爷那本账上,每一页都有他们,可是他们不在账上。
因为他们是雇的,不是送礼的。
马可在本子上写了一行:
「这本账上没有唢呐。」
他停了一下,写完:
「可是六十场事,他们一场没缺。」
只有一样不一样。
那张小桌,摆在院子东边靠墙那儿。
桌上还是那三样:一个本子,一支笔,一个铁盒子。
桌后面坐着的不是那个七十来岁的老汉。
是一个年轻人。
二十九岁,穿一件白衬衫,头发很短。
他坐得很直,可是手放得不自然。
马可站在门口,看了他一会儿。
然后他往桌子那边走。
那个后生姓杜,跟老汉一个姓,可是不是一家。
这个村八十七户,二十几户姓杜。
他在县上一个单位上班,今天请了假。
马可走到桌前,他抬起头。
马可说:
“我是成都来的。”
后生说:
“我知道。”
他说:
“杜爷跟我说过。”
马可问:
“他说什么?”
后生说:
“他说去年有个成都的,问了他一句谁也没问过的话。”
马可停住了。
后生低头翻本子。
他翻得不熟,一页一页找。
找到一页,他停下来。
他说:
“他让我看这一页。”
马可低头看。
页眉上写着:二〇一六年三月十一日 杜家。
跟去年八月那一页一样。
八十四行,最下面三个名字加两个字。
马可抬起头。
他问:
“他让您看这一页,说什么了吗?”
后生说:
“他说,最下面那两个字,你要会写。”
马可问:
“您问他为什么了吗?”
后生说:
“问了。”
他说:
“我说,人家没来,不写不行吗。”
马可问:
“他怎么说?”
后生说:
“他说,不写,明年这一家就不在本子上了。”
他停了一下。
他说:
“他说,写了未至,他还在这一页上。”
马可站在那张桌子前面,把这一句想了一遍。
未至这两个字,看着像是记一个缺席。
其实是把一个缺席的人,留在名单上。
不写,那一家就从这一页消失了。
写了,那一家在这一页上,只是没有来。
马可在本子上写了一行:
「未至不是记他没来。」
他停了一下,写完:
「是不让他掉出这张纸。」
段三·事件主体
那天上午,马可问了那个后生一件事。
他问:
“这本子什么时候交给您的?”
后生说:
“四月。”
马可问:
“他自己交的?”
后生说:
“他把我叫去了。”
他说:
“在他炕上。”
他说:
“他说,四月里有两场事,你来记。”
马可问:
“您记了?”
后生说:
“记了。”
他翻到后面几页。
马可看见那两页的字,跟前面完全不一样。
前面是老汉的字,小,密,横格里只占半格。
这两页的字大,方正,是写文件的那种字。
而且名字都是全的。
三个字,四个字,一个都不缺。
马可问:
“他看见您写全名,说什么了吗?”
后生说:
“说了。”
他说:
“他说,行。”
那天上午,后生说了四月那两场事。
他说:
“第一场我不会写。”
他说:
“来的人报名字,报的都是「东头老李」「后院他二婶」。”
他说:
“我写不上去。”
马可问:
“那怎么办的?”
后生说:
“我问一个写一个。”
他说:
“问一个人要半分钟。”
他说:
“那天来了六十几个,我写到晚上。”
马可问:
“杜大爷在旁边吗?”
后生说:
“在。”
他说:
“他躺在里屋,没出来。”
他说:
“晚上我拿本子进去给他看。”
马可问:
“他怎么说?”
后生说了一句,马可当天在本子上抄了两遍:
“他说,你这个慢。”
他停了一下。
他说:
“他又说,可是你这个,我死了以后还有人认得。”
陶渊明是那天中午出现的。
棚里开席,十几桌。
马可坐在最外头那一桌。
他不认识人,别人也不认识他。
吃到一半,旁边那个位子上坐了一个人。
五十来岁。
穿的是很旧的葛布衣裳,袖子有补。
他脚上没有穿袜子。
他坐下先给自己倒了一杯。
他说的第一句是:
“这个酒不好。”
马可说:
“是。”
那个人说:
“陶潜。”
那天中午,陶渊明先说的是他自己写的那三首。
他喝了一口,说:
“我给自己写过挽歌。”
马可说:
“这个我知道。”
陶渊明说:
“三首。”
他说:
“还写过一篇祭文。”
马可问:
“先生为什么给自己写?”
陶渊明说:
“我想听听。”
马可问:
“听什么?”
陶渊明说:
“听别人怎么唱我。”
他把杯子放下。
他说:
“我活着的时候,听见过别人唱死人。”
他说:
“唱来唱去就那几句。”
马可问:
“哪几句?”
陶渊明说:
“可惜。”
那天中午,棚里很吵。
唢呐停了,人在说话。
陶渊明说:
“我不可惜。”
他说得很平常。
他说:
“我活了几十年,种地,喝酒,写几首。”
他说:
“该做的做了,不该做的也做了一些。”
他抬起头。
他说:
“没有什么可惜的。”
马可问:
“那先生写那三首,是要说这个?”
陶渊明说:
“是要把「可惜」两个字划掉。”
他说:
“我先写出来,他们就不好再唱了。”
他停了一下。
他说了一句,马可当天在本子上抄了三遍:
“我自己那一页,我自己写。”
马可在那张桌子旁边坐着,把这句想了一遍。
他说:
“先生,那三首里有一句,”
陶渊明说:
“你说的是哪一句?”
马可念了:
“亲戚或余悲,他人亦已歌。”
陶渊明说:
“对。”
马可问:
“先生写这一句的时候,是不是有点凉?”
陶渊明说:
“不凉。”
他答得很干脆。
他说:
“这是实话。”
他说:
“我死了三天,我家里人还哭。”
他说:
“外头那些人,第二天就唱歌了。”
他把杯子端起来。
他说:
“这个不是他们不好。”
他说:
“这个是本来就该这样。”
马可问了一句:
“先生,那家里人呢?”
陶渊明说:
“家里人也就三天。”
他说得很平常。
他说:
“三天以后要吃饭,要下地。”
马可说:
“先生这话说得太干净了。”
陶渊明说:
“不是干净。”
他把杯子放下。
他说:
“我写那三首的时候,我还没死。”
他说:
“我是活着的人在猜死了以后。”
他抬起头。
他说了一句,马可当天在本子上抄了两遍:
“活着的人猜死后,总是猜得太狠。”
马可问:
“为什么会太狠?”
陶渊明说:
“因为要是猜得软,就不敢死了。”
这一句说完,那一桌上有人在劝酒。
陶渊明等那阵声音过去。
他说:
“你今天看那个后生。”
马可说:
“看了。”
陶渊明说:
“他手放得不自然。”
马可说:
“是。”
陶渊明说:
“他不是不会写。”
他说:
“他是头一回坐那个位子。”
他往棚外看了一眼。
他说:
“那个位子,杜大爷坐了二十年。”
他说:
“头一年他也这么坐。”
他喝了一口。
他说了后半句,马可后来觉得这后半句比前半句难:
“要是外头那些人也哭三天,那这个村就过不下去了。”
那天中午,马可问了他真正想问的。
他说:
“先生,杜大爷那一页,谁写?”
陶渊明说:
“你去看。”
他站起来。
他说:
“这一页不用你操心。”
他往棚外走了两步。
他回过头。
他说了走之前那一句:
“身子归山,账归人。”
他说:
“这两样不是一样东西。”
段四·钩子结尾
那天下午两点多,马可走到那张小桌前面。
后生正在写。
他旁边坐着一个人。
是杜大爷的儿媳,四十多岁。
她手里也拿着一个本子。
是一个更旧的,蓝皮的。
马可站在旁边看了一会儿,看明白了。
来的人报名字,报的还是那些叫法。
「东头老李」。
后生抬头看儿媳一眼。
儿媳翻那本蓝皮的,念一个全名。
后生写下去。
下一个。
「后院他二婶」。
儿媳翻,念,后生写。
一个人大概十秒。
比四月那一次快了三倍。
马可问了一句:
“大姐,您那本是什么?”
儿媳说:
“我们家自己的。”
她说:
“每一家都有一本。”
马可说:
“这个我知道。”
儿媳说:
“我们家这本,我公公记了十六年。”
她翻给马可看了一眼。
上面是全名。
马可停住了。
他说:
“大姐,这本上是全名?”
儿媳说:
“是。”
马可问:
“村里那本上是简称。”
儿媳说:
“村里那本是给大家看的。”
她说:
“我们家这本是给我们家看的。”
她说得很自然。
她说:
“给大家看的,写简称,快。”
她抬起头。
她说了一句,马可当天在本子上抄了四遍:
“给自己家看的,得写全名。”
她说:
“不然过两代,自己家都不认得了。”
马可站在那张小桌旁边,站了很久。
因为这件事去年八月他问过,而且问错了。
去年他问的是:您走了以后谁记。
老汉答的是:村里有个后生,他说记不住谁是谁。
老汉说:你不用记住,写全名就行。
后生说:写全名,人家看着生分。
当时马可以为这是一个死结。
简称让本子只有作者读得懂。
全名让本子变冷。
今天下午他看见了答案。
答案不是二选一。
答案是两本。
村里那本写简称,给活人看,快,热。
每家那本写全名,给后人看,慢,准。
两本一对,简称就能翻成全名。
马可在本子上写了一行:
「这个村八十八本账。」
他停了一下,写完:
「一本简称,八十七本全名。」
又写了一行:
「那八十七本,就是这一本的字典。」
写完这三行,马可又想了一步。
这八十七本是怎么活下来的?
没有人管,没有人查,也没有人规定要记。
可是家家都有。
为什么家家都有?
因为不记,下回办事的时候不知道该给多少。
给多了,人家下回得多还。
给少了,欠着。
这个理由跟公德没有关系。
是每一家自己要用。
马可在本子上写了一行:
「村里那本是公家的,靠一个人。」
他停了一下,写完:
「那八十七本是自己的,靠八十七家。」
又写了一行:
「公家那本会断,因为记的人会死。」
再写一行:
「八十七本不会断,因为每一家自己要用。」
这一行写完,他停了很久。
因为这一条能用在他自己身上。
那张单,那八条回音,那六条便物历,
这些东西现在靠的是他一个人。
他不在,就断。
他在本子上写了这一段最后一行:
「我要做的不是让他们替我记。」
他停了一下,写完:
「是让他们自己要记。」
那天下午四点,马可看见了那一页。
后生写完最后一个人,把本子推给儿媳看。
儿媳看了一遍,点了点头。
马可站在旁边,看见了页眉。
页眉上写的是:
二〇二九年六月十日 杜家
下面是名字和数。
一行一行,全名。
马可数了一下。
八十一行。
这个村八十七户。
少六家。
他没有问。
因为他知道最后一行会写什么。
后生写完八十一行,停了一下。
他抬头看了儿媳一眼。
儿媳说了一句:
“照他那个写法写。”
后生低下头,在最下面写了一行。
六个名字。
后面两个字。
马可站在两米外,看清了那两个字。
未至。
马可看着那六个名字。
六个字都是全的。
去年那一页上,三个名字是简称。
今年这六个,是全名。
这个差别别人看不出来。
可是马可知道这意味着什么。
简称写的未至,只有写的人认得那是谁。
全名写的未至,五十年以后还认得。
他在本子上写了一行:
「一六年那三家,是记给杜大爷自己看的。」
他停了一下,写完:
「今年这六家,是记给以后的人看的。」
又写了一行:
「同样两个字,一个是心里的账,一个是纸上的账。」
那天傍晚,马可跟常玉山一起走出那个院子。
天还亮着,敦煌六月的天,九点才黑。
两个人在那条土路上走。
走了一段,常玉山说了一句:
“那本账,接上了。”
马可说:
“接上了。”
常玉山说:
“他四月就交了。”
他说:
“他知道。”
两个人又走了一段。
路两边的向日葵已经有半人高。
马可想起去年八月来的时候,向日葵都低着头。
那是八月,快熟了。
今年六月,还在长。
常玉山忽然说了一句。
他说得很平常,跟前面那几句一个语气:
“我那六座房,没有人接。”
马可停住了。
常玉山没有停,继续往前走。
马可跟上去。
他问:
“常师傅,您女儿呢?”
常玉山说:
“在兰州。”
他说:
“教书。”
马可问:
“她不回来?”
常玉山说:
“不回来。”
他说得很干脆,一点也没有怨。
他说:
“我也没让她回来。”
又走了一段,他说了一句:
“我今年六十三。”
马可算了一下。
去年七行字上写的是六十二。
今年是六十三。
常玉山说:
“那六座房,我爹垒的。”
他说:
“我垒的一座也没有。”
他停下来,回头往村里看了一眼。
唢呐又响起来了。
他说了一句,马可当天晚上在旅馆里坐了很久:
“杜大爷那本账,四月就交了。”
他说:
“我这六座房,我交给谁。”
马可在那条土路上,跟他并排走了一段。
他没有立刻答。
因为他知道自己答不出,而且随便答一句会很难看。
走了大概两百米,他问了一句:
“常师傅,您那本本子呢?”
常玉山说:
“哪一本?”
马可说:
“今年这一本。第一页写着糖度低不多那一本。”
常玉山说:
“在家。”
马可问:
“去年那一句,后来对了吗?”
常玉山这时候停下来了。
他站在路当中,从口袋里摸出手机,翻了一下。
他把屏幕给马可看。
是一张照片。
拍的是那本本子的第一页。
第一行是去年八月六日写的:糖度低。不多。
下面多了一行,字比第一行小:
「九月二十下架量的。比往年低一点五。猜中了。」
再下面一行:
「不多这两个字,也对。」
马可看着这三行,站在那条土路上。
他问:
“常师傅,这三行是您自己加的?”
常玉山说:
“我自己加的。”
马可问:
“为什么加「猜中了」这三个字?”
常玉山说:
“你去年不是说要先写猜的吗。”
他把手机收起来。
他说:
“猜完了,得写对了没有。”
他往前走。
他说了一句,马可跟在后头听着:
“不写对了没有,那个猜就白猜了。”
马可跟上去,又问了一句:
“今年那一本,第一页写了什么?”
常玉山说:
“写了。”
马可问:
“写的什么?”
常玉山走了几步才答。
他说:
“我猜今年是最后一年。”
马可停住了。
常玉山没有回头。
他说:
“我猜的。”
他说:
“猜错了最好。”
两个人又走了一段。
天开始暗了,敦煌六月的黄昏很长。
马可想了很久,才说了一句。
他说:
“常师傅,我明年三月还要您的货。”
常玉山说:
“明年三月我有。”
马可说:
“后年呢?”
常玉山没有立刻答。
走了十几步,他说:
“后年我六十五。”
马可说:
“六十五还能挂。”
常玉山说:
“能挂。”
他说:
“挂得动。”
他停了一下。
他说了一句,马可后来在本子上抄了三遍:
“挂得动跟接得上,是两件事。”
他说:
“我一个人挂,能挂到七十。”
他说:
“七十以后就没有了。”
他说:
“那六座房,是我爹垒的,我用了三十五年。”
他抬起头,往远处看了一眼。
他说:
“七十那年,它们还在。”
他说了后半句,说完两个人就都没有再说话:
“房子在,人没了,那就是六个土疙瘩。”
那天晚上,马可在旅馆里,把这一天写完。
写到最后,他在纸上画了两栏。
左边写:能交出去的。
右边写:交不出去的。
左边他写了四样。
一本红皮账。
三十四本破损记录。
一本零三年的重量表。
三本吐鲁番的房子记录。
右边他写了三样。
六座晾房。
一百四十七座晾房。
两百一十三家客户的脸。
他看着这两栏,看了很久。
左边那四样,都是纸。
右边那三样,两样是土,一样是记忆。
马可在下面写了一行:
「纸交得出去。」
他停了一下,写完:
「土和脸交不出去。」
又写了一行,这一行他写完把本子合上了:
「所以杜大爷那件事办成了,常师傅那件事办不成。」
合上以后他又打开,在下面加了一句:
「除非有人肯搬到敦煌来。」
这一句他写完,自己盯着看了很久。
然后他在旁边写了三个字,很小:
「不是我。」
写完这三个字,马可坐在那儿,很久没有动。
因为这三个字是他这一年半以来,第一次把一句话说死。
他这一年半,说过很多「我不知道」。
秦师傅问他要那三十四本做什么,他说不知道。
阿不都问他要那本子做什么,他说不知道。
周立行问他为什么不去,他说的也是一句站不住的话。
「我不知道」这四个字,他说得很顺。
今天晚上他写的是「不是我」。
这三个字比「我不知道」难写得多。
因为它是一个判断。
马可把这三个字看了一会儿,在旁边加了一行:
「说不知道,是把门开着。」
他停了一下,写完:
「说不是我,是把门关上。」
又写了一行:
「常师傅六十三,我三十二。」
再写一行:
「他还有七年。我要是关这个门,得现在关。」
最后他写了一句,写完就把灯关了:
「关得越晚,他等得越久。」
欲知后事如何,请看下回,《六月十五号那两百袋》
附录一·Dongpo's Note
Chang rang at twenty to four and did not speak for two or three seconds. Xiao Ma. Then: Old Du has gone. When? This morning. In his sleep. His daughter-in-law went to call him for breakfast and he was already cold. When is it? Day after tomorrow. I said I would come. A silence. You don't need to. I said I would come. You met him twice. Twice — and last August he turned to the page from 2016 and showed it to me. He said nothing for a while, and then: then come.
10 June, eight in the morning. The same as nineteen months ago: white cloth, an awning, two shawms and a drum, a yard full of people all of them busy — building the stove, washing vegetables, setting out tables, nobody idle.
One thing different. The small table against the east wall still carries the three objects — notebook, pen, tin box — and the man behind it is not the one of seventy-odd. He is twenty-nine, in a white shirt, hair cut short, sitting very straight with his hands in an awkward place.
Surname Du, like the old man, but not the same family; twenty-odd of the eighty-seven households here are Du. He works for an office in the county town and has taken the day off. I'm from Chengdu. — I know. Old Du told me. Told you what? That last year somebody from Chengdu asked him a question nobody had ever asked him.
He turned pages badly, one at a time, looking for something, and stopped. He told me to look at this one. The header: 11 March 2016, the Du household.
*When was the book given to you? April. He gave it to you himself? He called me in. Onto the kang. He said: there are two occasions in April, you keep them. Did you? I did.
Those pages do not look like the ones before them. The old man's characters are small and dense and occupy half a ruled line. These are large and square, the hand of a man who writes documents. And the names are complete — three characters, four characters, not one abbreviated.
Did he say anything about the full names? He did. He said: all right.
And April's difficulty, which he described without complaint. The first one I couldn't write. People came and gave names like old Li at the east end and his second aunt in the back yard. I couldn't put that down. So? I asked each one and wrote it. Half a minute a person; sixty-odd people; he was still writing at night. Was the old man there? In the inner room. He didn't come out. I took the book in to show him in the evening. And? He said: this of yours is slow. A pause. And then he said: but this of yours, after I'm dead, people will still be able to read.
Tao Yuanming sat down beside me halfway through the meal, at the outermost table where I knew nobody and nobody knew me. Fifty-odd, very old hemp clothes with a patch at the sleeve, no socks. He poured himself a cup first. This wine isn't good. No. Tao Qian.
*He wrote his own funeral songs, three of them, and a sacrificial address as well. Why write your own? I wanted to hear it. Hear what? How other people would sing me. And: while I was alive I heard people singing the dead. It's always the same few lines. Which lines? What a pity.
I am not a pity. Entirely level. I lived several decades, farmed, drank, wrote a few things. I did what I ought to and some of what I ought not to. There is nothing to be sorry about. So the three poems were to say that? They were to strike out the words "what a pity." If I write it first, they can't sing it afterwards. And: my own page, I write myself.
I quoted the line back at him — kin may still grieve; others have already gone back to their singing — and asked whether it was written coldly. Not coldly. Flatly. It is the truth. Three days after I die my own household is still weeping. The people outside were singing again the next day. And: that isn't a fault in them. That is how it has to be. And the second half, which is harder than the first: if the people outside wept for three days as well, the village could not go on.
So who writes Old Du's page? Go and look. That page is not your worry. And, going: the body goes to the hill; the accounts go to a person. And: those are not the same thing. — M.
附录二·Marco's Memo
Memo to file. Dunhuang village, 10 June 2029.
1. The succession happened, and it happened in April, deliberately. He called the twenty-nine-year-old to his bed and handed over the book with two April occasions to keep, and supervised the first one from the inner room. Which answers the question I asked in August 2028 — who keeps this after I'm gone — and answers it in the way he told me it would be answered: there has to be a gap first, and then somebody picks it up (ch.154, on 2009). There was no gap. He created the handover instead of leaving one.
2. The full-name problem, which I had recorded as unsolvable, and the answer is not a compromise. Recap (ch.154): abbreviations make a sixteen-year ledger unreadable by anyone but its author; full names are transferable and cold; the successor said writing full names looks distant. What I saw this afternoon: the successor writes; the old man's daughter-in-law sits beside him with a second, older, blue-covered book; a caller says "old Li at the east end"; she looks it up and reads out the full name; he writes it. About ten seconds a person, three times faster than his April attempt. Her book is the household's own, kept by her father-in-law for sixteen years, and it is in full names. — The village book is for everybody: abbreviations, fast, warm. — The household book is for the household: full names, slow, exact. — 給大家看的写简称,给自己家看的得写全名。不然过两代,自己家都不认得了。 Eighty-eight books in this village: one in shorthand, eighty-seven in full names. The eighty-seven are the dictionary for the one. I spent ten months treating this as a trade-off between legibility and warmth. It is not a trade-off. It is two documents with two audiences, and the redundancy is the mechanism. Compare Liu Xiang (ch.151): you cannot collate one copy. The village has been running an eighty-eight-way collation for sixteen years without anyone calling it that.
3. Direct relevance to the two books that have no successor. — Qin's thirty-four (ch.152): customer names are abbreviations only he can resolve. There is no second book anywhere. There is no dictionary. — Chang's 2003 series: numbers only, no names, and I have transcribed it — so a second copy now exists, and it is mine. What the village has that Jiayuguan does not is not a better record. It is a population that each keeps their own half. The asset is distributed, which is why it survives the death of the person who holds the index. Action: the leader sheet should be issued in two copies with different fields — the one that circulates (short, fast, for the chain) and the one each leader keeps (full, slow, for themselves). I have been issuing one.
4. Tao Yuanming, and the reason for writing your own. Three funeral songs and a self-composed sacrificial address, because I wanted to hear how other people would sing me — and what they sing is always what a pity. And: I am not a pity. I did what I ought to and some of what I ought not to. There is nothing to be sorry about. And: the three poems were to strike out the words "what a pity." Write it first and they cannot sing it afterwards. Which is exactly Sima Qian in the same village last August (ch.154): if I don't set it down plainly, later people will invent a reason for me, and what they invent is something that sounds well. Two men, five hundred years apart, both wrote their own entry to prevent a flattering one.
5. And the line I asked about, which is the coldest sentence in his work and is not cold. Kin may still grieve; others have already gone back to their singing. It is the truth. Three days after I die my household is still weeping; the people outside were singing the next day. And: that is not a fault in them. If the people outside wept for three days too, the village could not go on. File beside 未至 (ch.154): a statement of fact about somebody's absence, with the judgement deliberately left out. The old man wrote it about three households at his own wife's funeral. The successor wrote it today, on his instruction, about six.
6. The page. Header 10 June 2029, the Du household. Eighty-one lines, full names, against eighty-seven households. Below them, at the daughter-in-law's instruction — "write it the way he wrote it" — six names and 未至. And, as in 2016: no line for the household holding the occasion. The registrar's family is blank on the register, and this time the registrar is the deceased.
7. And what Chang said on the way out, in exactly the tone of the two remarks before it. My six houses have nobody to take them. — Daughter in Lanzhou, teaching. She isn't coming back. And: I never asked her to. — He is sixty-three this year. The seven lines printed on my bags say sixty-two; they were written in November 2027. — My father built those six houses. I have not built one. — And: Old Du handed his book over in April. Who do I hand six buildings to?
8. Which is a question I cannot answer and should not pretend to. What I can note is the asymmetry: a notebook can be handed to a man who works in the county town and comes back for the day. Six drying houses cannot. The village's eighty-eight-book system works because the cost of holding a share is one exercise book. The cost of holding a share of Chang's is a life in Dunhuang. And the thing I keep circling and have not yet said to him: the three-house arrangement in Turpan exists because Abdul Rahman is sixty-four and his son cannot sell (ch.141). Chang is sixty-three and has no son at all. I have built one succession instrument this year and it was for the other man.
附录三·English Highlight
"Kin may still grieve; others have already gone back to their singing."
Asked whether that was written coldly, the man who wrote it said no, and gave a reason that is not consolation. It is the truth. Three days after I die my own household is still weeping. The people outside were singing again the next day. And then: that is not a fault in them. If the people outside wept for three days as well, the village could not go on.
He had written his own funeral songs, three of them, and a sacrificial address to go with them, and the reason he gave for it was curiosity rather than vanity. I wanted to hear how other people would sing me. And what they sing, he had noticed, is always the same two words. What a pity.
I am not a pity. I lived several decades, farmed, drank, wrote a few things. I did what I ought to and some of what I ought not to. And: the three poems were to strike out the words "what a pity." If I write it first, they cannot sing it afterwards.
Sixteen hundred years later, in a village of eighty-seven households outside Dunhuang, a man of seventy-odd who had kept the communal gift ledger for sixteen years died in his sleep, and the ledger did not stop.
He had handed it over in April, deliberately, to a man of twenty-nine who works in a county office, and had supervised the first occasion from the inner room. Afterwards the young man brought the book in to show him. This of yours is slow — because he had had to ask every caller their full name, sixty-odd people at half a minute each, writing until nightfall. And then: but this of yours, after I am dead, people will still be able to read.
On the day of his own funeral the problem solved itself, and the solution had been sitting in every house in the village for sixteen years. The young man wrote; the dead man's daughter-in-law sat beside him with the household's own book, which is kept in full names; a caller said old Li at the east end; she looked it up and read out the name; he wrote it down. Ten seconds a person.
The village book is for everybody, so it is written in shorthand, and it is fast. The household book is for the household, so it is written in full, because in two generations your own family will not know who these people were.
Eighty-eight books. One in shorthand and eighty-seven dictionaries for it.
附录四·Dongpo's Cheat Sheet
| 六月八日到十日 | 出处 | 现代对应 | 一句话 |
|---|---|---|---|
| 睡着走的 | 儿媳早上去叫他吃饭 | 你不用来。我来 | 你跟他见过两回。两回 |
| 桌后面坐着的不是老汉 | 二十九岁,白衬衫,坐得很直 | 手放得不自然 | |
| 四月他把我叫去了 | 四月里有两场事,你来记 | 他躺在里屋,没出来 | 他知道 |
| 第一场我不会写 | 「东头老李」「后院他二婶」 | 我问一个写一个,半分钟一个 | 六十几个,写到晚上 |
| 你这个慢 | 可是你这个,我死了以后还有人认得 | ||
| 我给自己写挽歌 | 我想听听别人怎么唱我 | 唱来唱去就那几句:可惜 | 我不可惜 |
| 写那三首是要把「可惜」划掉 | 我先写出来,他们就不好再唱了 | 与司马迁同 | 我自己那一页,我自己写 |
| 亲戚或余悲,他人亦已歌 | 不凉,这是实话 | 这不是他们不好,本来就该这样 | 外头也哭三天,这个村就过不下去了 |
| 身子归山,账归人 | 这两样不是一样东西 | ||
| 儿媳手里一本蓝皮的 | 每一家都有一本 | 村里那本简称,自己家那本全名 | 十秒一个,比四月快三倍 |
| 给大家看的写简称,快 | 给自己家看的得写全名 | 不然过两代自己家都不认得了 | |
| 八十八本账 | 一本简称,八十七本全名 | 那八十七本是这一本的字典 | 不是取舍,是两个读者两份文件 |
| 秦师傅那三十四本 | 没有第二本,没有字典 | 常师傅零三年那本,第二份在马可手里 | 资产分散,所以死不掉 |
| 团长那张单要出两份 | 走的那一份短,快 | 自己留的那一份全,慢 | 我一直只发一份 |
| 八十一行,全名 | 少六家 | 最下面六个名字,未至 | 「照他那个写法写」 |
| 这一页还是没有主家那一行 | 记账的那一家永远是空的 | 这一次那一家就是死者 | |
| 我那六座房,没有人接 | 女儿在兰州教书,不回来,我也没让她回来 | 我今年六十三 | 我爹垒的,我垒的一座也没有 |
| 杜大爷那本账四月就交了 | 我这六座房,我交给谁 | 本子交得出去 | 六座房交不出去 |